What Global Warming?!?
If there's one thing I hate, it's greedy people ala 49ers owner, John Superjerk York. If there's two things I hate, it's that and poverty. And somewhere along that list of hated things, you would find "people that overhype environmental issues." Look, I'm a big fan of reusing and recycling - a peek at my underwear drawer, complete with underoos, will confirm those fears - but I'm talking about people who sacrifice everything to save the earth from "environmental injustices." They fight for crazy things like: saving moldy, old trees, expensive restoration projects, and preventing hair from being cut or washed.
Believe it or not, there is a more important matter at hand. One that we are all currently suffering from. That pressing matter is, of course, Global Coldening. Am I right or am I not wrong? Whoever thinks America is suffering at the hands of Global Warming needs to be stripped down to their long johns and locked outside. People are freezing their buns off because it's so cold. And it's been hard for those people - I mean you can't eat a hotdog or hamburger without the bun, right? har har har. But seriously, in all the years of my life, I don't ever recall having such a cold season last so long. Then again, maybe I'm getting forgetful in my old age. Or maybe my hand-me-down clothes from my sister are wearing out and getting a little too thin. But either way, I'm just waiting for it to warm up. I would really rather have it be hot instead of cold. I know regular folks would rather have it the other way around but not me, sister... or brother, or whatever you are to me.
Anywho, I just had to get that off my chest because I was waiting for a bus last night and it was frigid... literally frigid. So next time your mom tells you to wear a jacket before you go out, you should probably listen to her... especially if you're not wearing anything else.
Believe it or not, there is a more important matter at hand. One that we are all currently suffering from. That pressing matter is, of course, Global Coldening. Am I right or am I not wrong? Whoever thinks America is suffering at the hands of Global Warming needs to be stripped down to their long johns and locked outside. People are freezing their buns off because it's so cold. And it's been hard for those people - I mean you can't eat a hotdog or hamburger without the bun, right? har har har. But seriously, in all the years of my life, I don't ever recall having such a cold season last so long. Then again, maybe I'm getting forgetful in my old age. Or maybe my hand-me-down clothes from my sister are wearing out and getting a little too thin. But either way, I'm just waiting for it to warm up. I would really rather have it be hot instead of cold. I know regular folks would rather have it the other way around but not me, sister... or brother, or whatever you are to me.
Anywho, I just had to get that off my chest because I was waiting for a bus last night and it was frigid... literally frigid. So next time your mom tells you to wear a jacket before you go out, you should probably listen to her... especially if you're not wearing anything else.
