The Panic Button

So yesterday, I had to go over to meet up with an architect at his office, which is about three to four blocks from where I work. He's on the fourth floor so I go up there, we do business and I leave. So I'm going down the elevator and all of a sudden, I hear the sound of a phone ringing. So I look over to my left and it's coming from the emergency speakerphone/intercom thing that's built into the wall of the elevator. You know, the thing you would use if the elevator got stuck and you were moments away from giving birth. But I guess I was just leaning up against it and accidentally hit that big, black emergency call button. Of course, I didn't mean to hit to button so I started to panic a bit. Then, ringing stopped as if someone had picked up on the other side so I talk into the phone and say something like "Hey, there's no emergency. I accidentally hit the button." Then, I hear some inaudible voices and finally some guy on the phone, in a fast pace, yells out: "There's an emergency in elevator one!" Then, after that, I hear a lady. And she goes, in a concerned and anxious tone: "Hello?...Hello?!?...Hello?!?!" But by then, the elevator is at the lobby and I'm already out of the elevator. So I rush over to the security guard by the entrance to tell him there's nothing wrong. But sure enough, he's gone. So what do I do? I do the honorable thing and run out of that building as fast as I could! Well, I wasn't really running. It was more of a power walk. But as if on cue, I walk into a friend from church outside the building. So maybe it was sign from God that I should stay and make ammends for my accidental doings. But then again, maybe it wasn't because she was late for work and couldn't hang around to chat. Or that's what she said anyway. I didn't mind. I just wanted to get away. But it's odd how everyone I bump into on the streets says that they have to go because they're late for work... even on the weekends. Hmmm...

Anywho, in retrospect, there was probably nothing to panic about. Sometimes you do something stupid, and you react ten times more stupider. Or sometimes you just proceed to waste people's time by making them read about it on your blog. I actually had to go back to the same place today and naturally, nothing happened. I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice! Of course, I stood at the opposite end of the elevator this time, far away from the button. Now I know not to lean against elevator walls, no matter how tired I am. But you can't blame me right? I mean it was a long day at work yesterday. Well... actually, it was only about 9:00 a.m. at the time... but uh... uh... but that's not the point.

Just be careful in them elevators. Those emergency buttons actually work.

Boxers or Briefs... or Thongs?

There comes many a time when when one gets sucked into some really weird conversations. You know... the ones that come out of nowhere, are totally unnecessary and impossible to forget? They don't happen very often but when they do... look out.

Case in point: the other day, I was headed over to Moose's for dinner with the self-proclaimed '26 and under' club at work. But it might as well have been the '26 and underwear' club becaue on our way, we somehow got into talking about men's thongs. Yes, that's right. Thongs. Thongs for men. Not a very traditional source for conversations, I must admit, but it did make for a good, hearty laugh. And as if that one instance wasn't enough, later on in the middle of my Wild Mushroom Cappuccino and Grilled Hangar Steak Pizzaiola dinner, the topic came up again! How much thong discussions can a person handle in one night, you ask? Well... apparently, more than one. At least if anyone ever asks me... "Hey Justin, you know how when people talk about men's thongs, yada yadda yada...," I can confidently say 'Yes! I DO know!' And how many of you can say that? Well, I hope none.

As for me and my underpants, I'll be thankful as long as they're fresh and clean. But considering I only have a couple pairs in stock and my laundry gets done no more than once a week, it might not be a bad idea to throw a few thongs into the rotation.

New Site, Same Great Waste of Time!

New Look, Same Great Taste... that's what I read off of a bag of Doritos a while ago. Personally, I would prfer it have a new taste and same great look but watcha gonna do. Anywho, welcome to my brand new blog! I've lost count but this is either my fourth or fifth webpage that I've started. And like the past ones, this one will likely be just as bad, if not worse! Eventually, it will probably die off like all the other ones so enjoy it while it lasts and I'll try do the same. And well, for my first post, I'm going to waste your time by giving you a quick tour of the place because off to the right side are few things worthy of mentioning.

So firstly, you will see the Bible verse that inspired the address of my site. I don't want to shock anyone but my name really isn't Matthew and I'm not really 1,223 years old. But if I have told you otherwise in the past, then I must have a bad memory. But wow, wouldn't that be quite a story to tell the grandkids... I mean you could tell them that you actually knew someone named Matthew! Well, no. That's a horrible story.

Moving on, you'll see a couple of profiles about me. The first one is the one that Blogger sets up. It's pretty boring but they do have a random question generator that I'm going to use periodically. So see what crazy question I get and I will share with you my pearls of wisdom. I'll try to do that once a week... or year... or lifetime so that the profile doesn't get too stale. And speaking of stale, I've included a link to a page written about me that was written two or three years ago. Some of the info is outdated and inaccurate, but it's actually the nicest thing anyone has ever written about me. So if you think I'm some evil, twisted person, this one is for you... or not.

And finally, the pictures at the bottom are uh.. well.. pictures, I guess. I'll post new ones when I stop being lazy, which is probably never.

So there ya have it. My blog is off and running. So buckle up, Keep your hands and feet in the vehicle at all times, and enjoy the ride! Next stop... probably more uninteresting nonsense!