Thursday, March 1, 2007

Shave Your Chest, Save Your Life

Last week, I completed a First Aid, Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, and Automated External Defibrillator course. That means for the next two years, I am certified to do administer those three things and potentially save someone's life. And that means someone dropped the ball by letting me pass. muhahaha. If it ever comes down to me actually using CPR or an AED, you might as well wave the white flag and listen for the fat lady to belt it. We practiced on a dummy but I'm sure I still killed him many times over.

As you may have already guessed, I remember close to nothing from that class. The thing I do remember is that if an AED is needed and the victim has a hairy chest, you have to shave their chest first or else the stupid machine won't work. Talk about a hairy situation! That, in itself, might be more traumatizing than seeing the victim expire. Maybe I should only hang around people with clean, bare chests. That means I'd be safe hanging around all Chinese guys and most Chinese girls. I guess plan B would be to carry an electric shaver in my wallet. Hmm... yes, that could work. I'll look into that. But hopefully, I won't ever get to that. Otherwise, the victim can add "bloody chest" to their list of problems.

And one last thing from the class... I received a Wallet Skill Guide which is a summary of what to do when certain emergencies arise. There's one part where it shows you what to do if an infant chokes which I found to be quite disturbing, to say the least. Check it out. The images are not Photoshopped in any way. The captions, however, were modified and are my doing.