Saturday, November 29, 2008

Well, Bust My Buttons!

I'd be lying if I told you Thanksgiving wasn't my favorite holiday in November. But don't get me wrong - National Button Day will always have a special place in my small, black heart. Thanksgiving, however, is different. It's the day where gluttons, like me, can feel accepted for eating our weight in honey glazed hams and mystery pies. And plus, it's the day where I get to spend time with family members that don't care to visit me during the rest of the year.

Like a cherry on the top, Thanksgiving harbingers the heralded coming of Black Friday. Because it's the day compulsive, debt-ridden shoppers declare all out war against financial advisers, retailers hope profits will get out of the red and into the black. But reading this article, the "black" in Black Friday has more to do with the grim reaper than the "green" reaper. What is even more sad is how I expect you to associate "green reaper" with cash register. But let's see... trample an innocent employee to death... or miss out on the telescope deal to be in time for the greatest show not on earth. Alright, those thrifty tramplers probably were not eying the telescopes in the optical instruments aisle but you would need a microscope to see their paltry levels of sanity and common sense. At least have the decency to return the items you got after mistaking the employee for a doormat! Fresh off of a tryptophan high, these shoppers were more animal than man.

And so sometimes, Thanksgiving can be a not so thankful time after all. But at the very least, I am thankful for other November holidays like National Button Day. Sure, Thanksgiving opens the flood gates for Black Friday sales galore, or should I say "gore," but National Button Day ensures winter jackets, fancy shirts, and endangered button flies will be properly clasped. Thank God for buttons!