Saturday, August 30, 2008

Something Smells Fishy...

Put those celebrations on hold, party people. I'm not dead - not yet, anyway. And I don't intend to be until I reach the glorious, ripe age of 173. Why 173? It's just a random number. Don't look too much into it.

So with the news of the Alaskan governor joining the presidential race, I feel a bladder-bulging obligation to share a cool picture from the land "up over." Here it is, in all it's glory, or should I say gory...

The picture needs no explanation, but what kind of blogger would I be if I just slapped on a picture and not give it the proper words it is due? Still a pretty bad one. But it's the blogger's code and I must abide by it. Never heard of this code, you say? That's because it's a set of rules and regulations that I put together for fun. And Section 148.c specifically states that all pictures that need no explanation must be explained.

Anywho, this is my cousin from Alaska. And no, I'm not talking about the fish. I have yet to meet family that belong to an aquatic species. But even more surprising is that the guy with a modicum of Asian resemblance is not my cousin either! But rather, it's the Turkish delight on the left. I've censored his smooth 'stache to conceal his identity. PETA would have a field day with him.

But show me someone that's not impressed with the size of that halibut and I'll show you a liar. Perhaps the greatest feat to be feated in the history of my family, this picture has brought honor to the family, counteracting the slabs of shame I haul in year after year. Sure, I have other cousins who do some pretty nifty things... One puts his life on the line everyday to protect citizens, one contributes to academia and the public community, one turns savage natives into classy scholars, and one is a world-renown organ scholar. But this one catch outshines them all. My younger cousins have blindingly bright futures ahead of them and may top this one day but trying to out-cool this bountiful catch is still akin to me trying to do long division - might as well wave that white flag while it's still clean.

The Louvre has Mona Lisa. The Forbidden Palace has Mao Zedong. And my family? We have the halibut slayer.

Oh, and that red, bloody-like substance bleeding out of the flesh - that's just rasperry jam.