Celebrate Good Times

If you're like me, which I already know you're not, then you've been in a celebratory mode as of late. And if you are actually like me, then may God help us all! But some things I've been very grateful to be a part of recently are weddings, retirements, and birth of babies - none mine, of course. These celebrations are fun events to attend and nobody would dare hate celebrating. If they do, they probably shouldn't be celebrating in the first place. Well, I guess you could hate funerals if you count that as a celebration. I have a feeling mine will be extremely celebratory. But some events are just harder to celebrate than others. The chief violator of which I speak of are graduations.

You probably already got me wrong but don't get me wrong, I think graduations are great. They are inspiring celebrations of dedication and hard work, or lack thereof. But I can't speak for clown or barber colleges. I have yet to attend one of those. I imagine being at one of those fills you up, not so much with inspiration, but with eh... what's the word I'm looking for.. o yea, humiliation. But the problem with graduations are that most of the event is so boring. It's not so much the length of the graduations. I've been to some pretty lengthy events but the running time is not what really bothers me. The most boring part is when they're calling out names of people you don't know or don't care to know. Then when they call the name of your beloved friend or family member, you go nuts for about five seconds and then you slouch back in your chair and return to your own little world. But you know its really boring when you start running out of things to daydream about it.

A lot of times, the speaker is really boring. If you've heard one graduation speech, you've probably heard a million of them, right? It usually goes something like this: "Congratulations on your hard work at this great school. Blah blah blah happened to me and look at me now. But now, it's your turn to go out and save the world." All you fans of Al "the definition of boring" Gore, are probably cursing at me but you don't scare me. You couldn't even get Gore into the White House in 2000, which is good because instead of rallying countries for wars, he'd be putting them sleep. Actually, that may be the secret weapon against the war on terrorism.

Anywho, I'm still going to go to graduations and I'm still going to look forward to attending them. I wouldn't miss them for the world. The world is even more boring.

Excuse My French...

Hopefully, you haven't noticed but it's been a while since I last updated. I was all ready to update last week but some things came up and yada, yada, yada. But in so doing, I think I've ifound a true time machine. I call it "laziness." Here's how it works. First, you plan on doing something. Then, instead of doing it, you get lazy. And soon enough, you will find yourself living two weeks into the future! I'm still trying to figure out how to reverse time, but I'll save that for a rainy day.

Anywho, last week was Cinco de Mayo and I'm still having trouble understanding the big hoopla. I know why they celebrate it - it's a celebration of Mexico's victory over the French in some big battle, if I'm not mistaken. I know it's not Mexico's Independence Day and I know it's not Mexico's Dependence Day. That much I know. So assuming that is true, why would you make a big fuss over a victorious battle over the French? This is the French we're talking about, people! Nobody loses to them! Well, I shouldn't say that. A year after the Mexicans defeated the French forces, the French came back and took over Mexico City. I guess even the French military gets their 15 minutes of fame. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

Why, o why, must Cinco de Mayo become one of the biggest celebrations in America? You don't see people celebrating the rising of the sun every morning or celebrating the opening of a new Starbucks - not sane people anyway. Those are givens. We know the sun will rise. We know there will be a new Starbucks. And we know the French will lose in battle.

I suppose I may be being a bit of a hypocrite. After all, my blog thrives on blowing things out of proportion. But I still think Cinco de Mayo is unnecessary but sometimes the most necessary things in life are the unnecessary things. And sometimes, I just like to make stuff up. You know, like if I said the French won a battle.