When I Was A Kid...
Halloween has long since past but I'm still cleaning up the mess. Apparently, my electric fence does work. That ought to teach them kids to read those warning signs next time!
You know you're getting old when you start dating yourself and telling kids how different they have it today then compared to ...o, say my day. Don't think so, you dare say? Try these on for size:
When I was a kid, we had toys that worked in blackouts.
When I was a kid, we didn't shoot each other.
When I was a kid, the moral fibers of America were still partially intact.
When I was a kid, we didn't have to worry about viruses and online predators.
When I was a kid, we didn't have to worry about the effects of global warming.
When I was a kid, we actually had cartoons to watch after school... and on multiple television stations, no less.
When I was a kid, we didn't know Rosie O'Donnell and Michael Moore existed.
You don't even have to tell me how right I am. Just continue nodding in agreement, slowly pull out your checkbook, and write me a fat one. Kids today just don't realize how unfortunate they are. Had they been introduced to the world a good ten to twenty years earlier, they would be saying the exact same thing - word for word.
And look at them now - in the hospital being treated for electric fence shocks. Actually, to be honest, I don't have an electric fence. I just said that to be pretend to be cool. I probably just lost a few friends making that confession. But that's alright. I still have my sweet childhood memories to fall back on. That's another thing that the kids of today don't have that the kids of my day have plenty of. How many elementary school kids today can reminisce about life ten or twenty years ago? Show me one of those, and I'll show you someone who doesn't belong in elementary school.
You know you're getting old when you start dating yourself and telling kids how different they have it today then compared to ...o, say my day. Don't think so, you dare say? Try these on for size:
When I was a kid, we had toys that worked in blackouts.
When I was a kid, we didn't shoot each other.
When I was a kid, the moral fibers of America were still partially intact.
When I was a kid, we didn't have to worry about viruses and online predators.
When I was a kid, we didn't have to worry about the effects of global warming.
When I was a kid, we actually had cartoons to watch after school... and on multiple television stations, no less.
When I was a kid, we didn't know Rosie O'Donnell and Michael Moore existed.
You don't even have to tell me how right I am. Just continue nodding in agreement, slowly pull out your checkbook, and write me a fat one. Kids today just don't realize how unfortunate they are. Had they been introduced to the world a good ten to twenty years earlier, they would be saying the exact same thing - word for word.
And look at them now - in the hospital being treated for electric fence shocks. Actually, to be honest, I don't have an electric fence. I just said that to be pretend to be cool. I probably just lost a few friends making that confession. But that's alright. I still have my sweet childhood memories to fall back on. That's another thing that the kids of today don't have that the kids of my day have plenty of. How many elementary school kids today can reminisce about life ten or twenty years ago? Show me one of those, and I'll show you someone who doesn't belong in elementary school.
